a person of love
At the beginning of 2025, a group of girls and I sat down and created our own unique bingo cards. Rather than set new year's resolutions, this was a fun way to set goals for the year, without the pressure of feeling like we were writing out this long list to “do better.”
What I loved about this was that the things written were both seemingly small and also huge. For example, writing the words “pay off my student loan” or “write a book” felt big, but goals such as “get a massage” and “plant a garden” definitely took some of the pressure off. Although gardening is no joke. I’m happy to report I got not one, but four massages in 2025, and although stunted by some frost, my first garden provided a harvest of tomatoes, zucchini and neverending kale.
About those big goals. Full transparency, neither of those goals were fully accomplished, but I am proud to say my loan is over 50% smaller than it was—YAY. And as for that book goal, it was actually tabled mid-year to accommodate my first priority—online schooling. I started a nine-month early childhood Montessori diploma program in June and managed to have it done and dusted in seven months. Both of these accomplishments were HUGE for me and have given me even more drive for the year to come.
In all honesty, the point of this bingo card wasn’t to check all the boxes—even though 14 out of 24 is pretty good if you ask me. What I realized as the year came to a close was how this card allowed me to look back over the year and see so many things pointing me in the direction I long to go. Goals to help me become more of who I desire to be and who I believe God desires me to be.
This sheet represents places, things, and people that were used to stretch me, strengthen me, and sanctify me. Giving me aim, direction, and motivation to keep moving forward, especially when faced with seasons of discontentment and grief.
As I have reflected on these things over the past year and weeks, I’ve been thinking more and more about the person I want to become. I’ve taken inventory of the things that aid my pursuit, and the things that I need to shift or let go of entirely. Often easier said than done, I’ve been taking a hard look at my life and asking myself these difficult questions.
Are my goals, and desires helping me become more like Jesus?
Am I becoming a person of love, or are my aims more focused on loving myself?
Am I living for me, or am I truly living for Jesus?
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t convicted in this process. Asking Jesus to search my heart and lead me in the way everlasting (Psalms 139:23–24) is never easy. When you come face to face with your own selfishness, it makes looking in the mirror a little uncomfortable for a moment or two.
But it doesn't have to stay that way forever. The more I ask the Lord these questions, the easier it becomes. I can often tell when something inside of me is out of alignment, and I so desperately want the Lord to show me where I’ve gone wrong. I don’t always realize this quickly, I am still a stubborn human being after all, but eventually I come to terms with it and begin the painful process of letting God do what only He can do: change my heart.
I often pray that God would give me the desires of my heart, but the meaning behind this prayer has shifted so much for me. I used to read the verse “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart's desires” (Psalms 37:4 CSB) and believed that this meant if I just loved the Lord, and tried my best to follow a list of spiritual disciplines, that He would give me what I desire. That my list of “must-haves” for this life would be mine because God knows my heart and would want to give me all these good and perfect gifts (James 1:17).
But somewhere along the journey I realized that this verse is vastly misunderstood. People have believed that God will give us what we desire, when in reality, this verse means that God will plant new desires in our hearts. He will give you new desires that align with His plan for your life, not simply grant you the desires that align with yours. This was and still is a painful reminder that I often need.
So what does your heart desire? What are you aiming your life toward?
As I reflect on these things and take inventory of my life, I am reminded again of that simple question I previously mentioned:
In all that I do, am I becoming a person of love?
I wish I could claim this question as my own, but it actually came from one of my favourite pastors and authors, a man named John Mark Comer. If you don’t know his work, you won't be disappointed by grabbing any of his various books or listening to his Rule of Life Podcast.
Comer’s work continues to inspire and mentor me in my pursuit of Jesus, and he is the one who spoke these words into my life, through an airpod, while I was flying across the country last year.
Am I becoming a person of love?
Writing my 2026 bingo card has been fun, reflecting on the past year and dreaming about what this year has in store. I have big and small goals, but I wonder how many of these goals truly align with my deepest desire—to become a person of love.
For the one reading this, I wonder if it’s your turn to look at those resolutions through a new lens this year.
What are you aiming your life toward? Who do you want to become?
Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. — Psalms 139:23–24
Edited by Allison Wicks